Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
