i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize