his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
