I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
