I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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