I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
