so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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