fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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