i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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