this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
