Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
