Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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