I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
