Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
