I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
