I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
