just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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