Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
