i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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