jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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