I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the liver wants what the liver wants
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
