I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
