he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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