she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
