My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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