i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am one with the molecules
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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