so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
