Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
