The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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