Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
