we have pet lesbian snakes
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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