Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
