I want to walk on stilts...naked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
