Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I will be naked everywhere
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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