Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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