HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
