Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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