Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
