Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
