We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
high people should be assigned attendants
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
