I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
