very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh god the rape fog is back!
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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