She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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