How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
