Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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