fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
