i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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