So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
