He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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