btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
